I was going to review The Nightmare Before Xmas (1993), but it’s rated G, and that ain’t Horrorphile is about. So then I decided to watch Bad Santa (2003) again, ‘cos I like how filthy, obnoxious and reprehensible Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) is, and he makes for a wicked alternative to the ho-ho-ho everyone is familiar with.
Jack Nicholson read the script and wanted to do it, but was already committed to another movie. Seinfeld creator/writer and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator/writer/star Larry David was considered for the role of Willie, and Bill Murray was signed on, but dropped it to star in Lost in Translation. Murray would’ve been great, but Thornton captures that disheveled wrongness even better, and curiously Thornton admits he was genuinely inebriated during much of the filming. I do love a Method Bad Santa.
It features John Ritter’s final movie appearance as an uptight Department Store manager (some hilarious outtakes on the DVD), and director Terry Zwigoff (who made the brilliant documentary Crumb and the delightful Ghost World) dedicates movie to him. There’s also a deleted scene featuring Sarah Silverman as a Santa Trainer.
Willie is an ex-con with a drinking habit and a mouth like an ashtray. He swears like a fucking trouper and has a penchant for fucking womens’ asses, especially if they’ve got thick calves. He steals whenever he can, yet always ends up pissing the money away so that he has to return to playing Santa at Xmas time in the department stores alongside his partner in crime, Marcus (Tony Cox), a small person who dresses as Santa’s elf … and then he gets fired for verbally abusing kids and/or their parents.
To add complication to Willie’s already complicated life comes The Kid (Brett Kelly) an overweight, very needy, naïve young boy who sees Willie’s Santa guise in a Holier Than Thou light. Then there’s bartender Sue (Lauren Graham, cast curiously against type) who loves the way Santa screws her (“I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing … Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!”), and they way he matches her consumption for alcohol. The Kid and Sue tag along while Willie and Marcus get themselves embroiled in one social nightmare after another.
Bad Santa boasts 170 “fucks” (including its variations), definitely a record for silly season movies. There are enough “profanities” to make the genuine Kris Kringle blush the colour of his red suit. The screenplay, while dredged in pitiful behaviour, actually has a heart of fool’s gold, and Willie’s letter to The Kid at movie’s end captures this mistletoed irony in a few colourful sentences. Good on ya Willie! Originally penned by Glenn Ficarra & John Requa, the script was then revised by producers Joel & Ethan Coen (whose black sense of humour shines darkly) and director Zwigoff. From the DVDs outtakes it appears Thornton was allowed to improvise a fair deal too.
Bad Santa is a guilty pleasure and a damn fine way to round off an unnecessarily clean Christmas celebration with the family. So, pour yourself a stiff (yeah, baby) bourbon, roll up a fat one and pass it around your dirty-minded grinch mates, then kick the Xmas tree over and kick back on the sofa to watch Billy Bob get Santa’s boots real grubby.
Here's the trailer:















The Crate: Classic actors Hal Holbrook, Fritz Weaver, and the lovely Adrienne Barbeau make this story my second favorite Creepshow short. Weaver and Holbrook are professors at the local college. A crate is found underneath some stairs that is unbelievably old and upon further investigation is holding something living inside. Carnage, blood and laughs follow. Both cheesy and funny in a twisted sort of way, this is a great story.
clean hermetically sealed penthouse. How are they getting in? Where are they coming from? You will have to watch the movie.
























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