POSESSED

BLOOD SIMPLE HORRORPHILE

“The world is full o' complainers. An' the fact is, nothin' comes with a guarantee. Now I don't care if you're the pope of Rome, President of the United States or Man of the Year; somethin' can all go wrong. Now go on ahead, y'know, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help, 'n watch him fly. Now, in Russia, they got it mapped out so that everyone pulls for everyone else... that's the theory, anyway. But what I know about is Texas, an' down here ... you're on your own.”

The debut feature from Joel and Ethan Coen, and a damn fine piece of filmmaking it is. I saw Blood Simple (1984) over twenty years ago one dark and stormy night while I was babysitting for some friends of my parents. One of those early VHS releases with the big chunky covers, it featured the now classic artwork on the cover (also used for the original poster): red stilettos, cowboy boots, handbag, keys and a pearl-handled .22.

Frances McDormand as Abby

Abby (Frances McDormand) is having an affair with Ray (John Getz). Abby’s husband Marty (Dan Hedaya) suspects adultery is afoot and hires seedy private investigator Visser (M. Emmet Walsh) to spy on them. When his suspicions are confirmed he pays Visser to kill them both. Duplicitous Visser, however, has more lucrative ideas and fakes their deaths.

John Getz as Ray

As in all classic film noir which Blood Simple’s themes are soaked in, Murphy’s Law reigns supreme. Lust, greed, mistrust, betrayal; everything that can possibly go wrong for the four unscrupulous players goes wrong, and soon everyone is acting, as Dashiell Hammet once explained, “blood simple”. It makes for one of the very best modern noir movies ever made, and alongside Fargo, it is the Coen brothers greatest accomplishment (No Country for Old Men is brilliant, but it’s based on a novel, so isn’t wholly original).

Dan Hedaya as Marty

The Coen brothers completed the movie in 1982, but it took another two years before it was released. After watching it I decided I wanted to make a movie like Blood Simple, or at least become a film director. Later whilst studying film analysis at university I wrote a long complex essay on the use of symbolism, both literal and figurative, within the film. Unfortunately I lost the essay somewhere in the intervening years. I’d love to re-read it now, some twenty years later. C’est la vie.

M. Emmet Walsh as Visser

For many years I regarded Blood Simple as my favourite movie, long before the Coen brothers were the household names they are now. As far as I was concerned the movie was a textbook example of just how cinematic a movie can be, even if at times it feels self-conscious; from the subjective visual narrative, the detailed use of sound, the richly-etched characters, the atmospheric music, the endlessly quotable dialogue.

In 1998 the Coen brothers re-cut the movie and re-released it. Crazily they made the decision to trim numerous scenes of excellent moments, including choice dialogue and symbolism. Why?! I don’t know, as the new edits are clunky. Now I'm on a mission to find the complete original theatrical cut on DVD (that version may only exist on VHS)!

Gimme a call whenever you wanna cut off my head. I can always crawl around without it

All four leads deliver outstanding performances, especially M. Emmet Walsh as arguably one of the sleaziest, most unctuous private dicks ever to (dis)grace the screen. A fresh-faced Frances McDormand as the player wife - “I ain’t done nothin’ funny …” – is pure immoral gold. As is Dan Hedaya’s disgruntled cuckolded husband – “What's funny is, when she gives you that look, and says, 'I don't know what you're talkin' about, Ray, I ain't done nothin' funny' … But the funniest thing to me is you think she came back here for you ... That’s what's fuckin’ funny!”

The use of tension and suspense is superlative, Hitchcockian in its minimalism. There are superb nightmare moments that push Blood Simple into genuine horror mode; in particular the extended scenes of Ray trying to get rid of Marty, and Abby and Visser’s finale. Blood Simple, like Fargo and No Country for Old Men, is a study in violence and the disastrous chain reaction effect of Murphy’s Law.

Killing a man can be a very messy thing

The guts of it is: Blood Simple is simply one of the best American movies ever made, no cigarette butts about it.

Here's a superb re-release trailer using solely Curter Burwell's stunning music:

BANBERY SHOWCASE

BRIDE OF DAGON

H.P. LOVECRAFT

HORRORPHILE ONE YEAR AGO

Keeping on the grindhouse tip, I’ve made a list of thirteen essential elements (liable to cause argument) that would feature nicely within the context of a sleazy, nasty, horror movie. I had dirty, reprehensible, misanthropic fun here.

So if you had to pick four of these to feature in a movie that you’d like to see, which ones would you pick? And then give your piece of midnight movie filth a title.

1. A psychopathic smack addict always shooting up in different and more extreme parts of their ravaged body, until they resort to a needle in the eye.
2. A stripper with a big bush and huge fake tits stealing from her sleazy, sociopathic boss.
3. A killer wearing the skinned face of a victim makes strange grunts and moans, and is attacked by the skinned victim who’s still alive!
4. A huge homosexual vampire stalks the NY underground gay scene, yet always vomits up blood after the kill.
5. A sorority house full of horny girls is attacked by a bunch of lesbian bikers.

6. Zombies overrun a small town, but are kept at bay by a young man armed with a huge razor-bladed bulldozer
7. A deep red fog rolls in spreading a hideous flesh-melting contagious disease, survivors flee, but some are already infected.
8. Head villian gets a machete straight through the head, cleaving his menacing face in half.
9. Cute boy and girl creep through scary cemetery, smoke a joint and make out in an open crypt while strange noises surround them.

10. Mad scientist tries experimental “progressive” neuro-surgery on humans, but his mutant assistant turns out to be an even crazier psychopath when he indulges in necrophilia with the dead abandoned victims.
11. Deep in the jungle a bunch of drug-addled cowboys hold fort while local cannibals attack.
12. An evil supernatural force descends upon a forest mansion causing the holiday couples to become sex-crazed killers, eventually only one couple is left, and they both commit suicide by hari-kari.
13. Gangs of murderous thugs go on the rampage during Halloween, with horrific tricks in store for the rich families.

Well I’m using #5, #9, #13 and #8.

My twisted horror flick is gonna be called Tricks, No Treats.

94

Vote

Comments (9) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: lists

Email this Post to a Friend

The Mutations AND The Incredible Melting Man

January 30th 2008 01:54

In conjunction with the exclusive limited run two week season of Grindhouse (2007) the Chauvel cinema here in Sydney has screened four grindhouse “classics” as part of their annual cinematheque programme. I managed to catch two of them; The Mutations (1974) and The Incredible Melting Man (1977).

I had read about The Mutations (known in the States as The Freakmaker) many years ago in a science fiction cinema book I owned as a lad. An English film starring Donald Pleasence as a mad scientist and Tom Baker (pre-Doctor Who) as a deformed traveling circus operator. Directed by legendary cinematographer turned director Jack Cardiff it’s an unintentionally hilarious descent into extreme silliness; a curious re-fashioned re-boot of Freaks (1932) meets Frankenstein (1931).

Prof. Nolter (Donald Pleasence) with his circus freak accomplice Lynch (Tom Baker)

The film is neither scary nor repulsive as a horror movie, yet it creates an oddly unsettling, strangely claustrophobic atmosphere. Perhaps this had something to do with the scratchy, washed-out 16mm print I was watching, but it added a certain “edge” to the movie, a macabre visual tone. The opening time-lapse photography sequences of plants growing and flowers blooming set to a brooding electronic soundtrack was quite something.

The mad scientist applies his magic while the freak looks on

When I say the movie wasn’t repulsive, I was lying, actually it featured some real life “freaks”, just as Tod Browning’s cult film had. One man, Popeye, could actually pop his eyes out of his head like some thyroid extremist; a truly ghastly sight (pun unintended). There was also alligator woman, pretzel boy, the bearded lady, the human pincushion, monkey woman, frog boy, and the de rigueur dwarves and midgets.

The Human Pincushion (O.T.) and midget Kathy (Kathy Kitchen)

Popeye (Willie Ingram) does his thing

Professor Nolter (Pleasence) works at the university teaching biology to a group of students who look far too old to be still in school. Behind the scenes he’s experimenting with trying to create genetically-engineered hybrids of humans and plants, taking the self-sufficiency of plants and combining them with the abstract thought of humankind. With the help of circus freak Lynch (Baker) who abducts students and brings them to the doctor’s lab (filled with various “intelligent plants”), under the pretense that the good doctor will cure him of his grotesque deformity, where Nolter is determined to break on through to the other side.

Lynch steals Hedi (Julie Ege) for the professor

Of course it all goes horribly awry, with some very silly special effects make-up, and some absurd dialogue and scenarios. It’s one of those horror curios that demands to be seen, if only to see Tom Baker in an elephant man facial prosthetic frothing “I am not a freak!”, and to see Donald Pleasence utter an unconvincing scream as he’s devoured by a carnivorous man-plant. Oh, and not forgetting the spectacle of Popeye too!

Astronaut Steve West (Alex Rebar) is not too happy with his reflection

The Incredible Melting Man I saw when I was barely out of puberty late one night on television (In New Zealand we had The Sunday Horrors, great for those B-grade cult rarities). From memory it was tacky (pun intended), but reasonably good fun. But oh no, on watching the movie again, it quickly dawned on me this movie was actually much, much worse than I ever remembered. In fact, so utterly dreadful is this Z-grade effort that I was caught like a deer in the headlights, unable to take my eyes off the screen. My fiancé and her friend, whom I had managed to talk into joining me, were suitably unimpressed, despite my pre-screening warnings that the movie was going to be “bad”. Bad was an understatement, to say the least!

The melting man grabs a bite to eat

Written and directed by the inept William Sachs the movie is a textbook example of how not to direct a horror movie. To be more precise, this is how not to direct a movie. Period. Every basic rule of cinematic language and technique was broken, but not in an experimental, progressive way. Sachs simply had no idea how to direct a movie; he even crosses the line, twice! Extraordinary that it ever got released. That’s the real horror.

A young Rick Baker supplied the movie’s special effects; unfortunately they’re not very special at all. Apart from the titular character’s head collapse at movie’s end, the melting effects are wholly unremarkable, basically a latex full-head mask, with hand and feet gloves, that have been wetted and applied with a little flesh slime before each take. Oh, and there’s a floating decapitated head as well.

The melting man, sans arm, is still hungry

The synopsis is pretty dire too: Astronaut Steve West (Alex Rebar) returns from a mission to Saturn (despite the glaring factual error that it’s impossible to actually land on the gaseous giant), but is afflicted with some kind of cosmic radiation which causes his flesh to slowly melt. His fellow astronaut comrades have all perished. He escapes the clutches of the hospital his mind in meltdown also, resulting in homicidal, cannibalistic behaviour (apparently he needs the human cells to stay alive). A government official (Myron Healey) and West’s doctor (Burr “I’m Dr. Ted Nelson!” DeBenning) make a pathetic attempt to capture him. Eventually he is cornered, but brute strength enables him to escape once again, only to succumb to the final gloopy ravages of his Saturn disease. A cleaner arrives on the scene and shovels up the remains as a radio voiceover announces a new mission to Saturn is about to commence.

I’m not being harsh when I say The Incredible Melting Man is not even fun for popcorn jeers, it takes itself way too seriously to be appreciated on a so bad-it’s-good level. It’s trash so low you might suffer from the bends watching it. In fact it really is only good for one thing; reminding the viewer of another B-horror, infinitely better: The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957).

Here's an original short, but effective, TV spot for The Mutations:


Here's melting man Steve West losing an eye and scaring a poor wee girl:

84

Vote

Comments (4) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Horror QUIZ #18: Mastermind Series - III

January 29th 2008 01:47

The third in my name-that-movie-from-a-single -still series. A quiz for the serious-minded horror movie buffs. You need to be on the money here; original complete title, or foreign title if the movie was originally released in a foreign tongue, any alternate titles (if it had any), and year of production and/or release.

Of course a couple of these might seem damn easy, but then, as my papa used to say "It's only easy when you know the answer." I suppose I could have made it tougher; name the director and country of origin as well, but hey, I’ll leave that for the next Mastermind level further down the track.

So let the blood be spilled!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

13 … Brilliant! The Scarlet Severed Hand trophy for you!
9 – 12 … Well, well, well, very impressive, you know your horror schtick!
5 – 8 … You’ve spent some time in the Dark, good work, but no bloodied cigar for you!
1 – 4 … Best you stick to watching the daytime soaps.

1. Death Ship (1980) 2. L'Uccello dale Piuma di Cristallo (1970, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage) 3. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994) 4. Blood on Satan's Claw (1971) 5. Cannibal Ferox (1981, aka Make Them Die Slowly/Woman from Deep River) 6. Interview with the Vampire; The Vampire Chronicles (1994) 7. Dead & Buried (1981) 8. Dust Devil (1992) 9. Final Destination 2 (2003) 10. H.G. Wells' The Food of the Gods (1976) 11. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) 12. The Faculty (1998) 13. Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

91

Vote

Comments (4) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: quizzes

Email this Post to a Friend

Cloverfield

January 24th 2008 02:18

I do like a good monster flick. To be more precise I’m partial to a big monster movie. Cloverfield (2008) has a pretty big monster; in fact, it would probably rate as one of the very biggest monsters to ever grace the silver screen, although to be more realistic grace is far from being one of the monsters attributes. This leviathan is about letting loose foghorn roars and bringing skyscrapers down.

Directed by unknown Matt Reeves, but conceived and produced by mate J.J. Abrams (the creator of television’s hugely popular Lost series, and also the man behind the big screen re-boot of Star Trek due at the end of the year), Cloverfield is nothing new, well, certainly not in the premise department: enormous beast emerges from the Manhattan harbour, capsizing a tanker in the process, and then proceeds to cut a trail of urban destruction through downtown New York City eventually ending up in Central Park

[ Click here to read more ]

117

Vote

Read More Comments (8) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Grindhouse

January 23rd 2008 04:57

Finally a chance to see Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez’s tribute to the sleazy exploitation flicks of the 70s and early 80s, where the decrepit cinema palaces of the 30s and 40s in downtown Manhattan would grind out as many double feature sessions of lurid and ultra-violent low-budget flicks as possible, with the prints nearly always in disrepair.

In America the Grindhouse (2007) double feature – Planet Terror followed by Death Proof – bombed at the cinemas. Cinemas were frustrated in having to fit a 3-hour programme into their daily screening schedule. Your Joe Average cinemagoer was reluctant to have their bums on seats for such a lengthy time, especially watching so-called “trash”, let alone what it was costing for a babysitter

[ Click here to read more ]

63

Vote

Read More Comments (4) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Some horrors WILL, some horrors WON'T ...

January 22nd 2008 06:19

… Some horrors kick some bloody butt, and some horrors really don’t.

So what makes a horror a good horror, while so many are bad, in all the wrong ways? Many horror filmmakers think they can get away with a lot; mediocre to lousy acting, cheap special effects, shooting in available light, because they think as long as the movie is “nasty” and “violent” and “hip” and sports some gratuitous nudity then they’ll be able to sell it and have it distributed no probs

[ Click here to read more ]

102

Vote

Read More Comments (6) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: vitriol

Email this Post to a Friend

Repulsion

January 21st 2008 04:01

Let it be said here and now, I’m a huge fan of director Roman Polanski’s oeuvre. Sure, he’s made a couple of clunkers, what director hasn’t? But overall Polanksi’s command of cinema is exceptional. His clever use of mise-en-scene and of sound, excellent eye for casting, an appreciation of the finer points of black comedy, a curious fascination with sexual dysfunction, and taste for the macabre; all these come together in the best of his films.

Repulsion (1965) his second feature, and his first in English, garnered him a lot of attention. Partly due to the film’s provocative subject matter, but also in the way he handled it. Repulsion is a psychological horror wrapped in the fabric of an art film, just as Cul-de-Sac, the movie he shot back-to-back with Repulsion, is a black comedy of errors masking another art film

[ Click here to read more ]

112

Vote

Read More Comments (11) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Horrorphile's BLOODY BEST of 2007

January 17th 2008 23:25

Nudged and winked at by John Doe’s top films of 2007 I thought it best if I offered my opinion on the bloody best of last year. Not that there’s a wealth of movies to choose from, slim pickings really, but a couple of doozies.

I’ve decided I should narrow the top bunch down to horror horrors, excluding a few of those movies that I’ve reviewed that wouldn’t be described as horrors per se by the majority, but which I’ve labeled either a post-modern horror or a kind of horror hybrid

[ Click here to read more ]

96

Vote

Read More Comments (22) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: lists

Email this Post to a Friend

The Dead Girl

January 16th 2008 23:23

When The Dead Girl (2006) was first released theatrically my fiancé was wanting a movie recommendation to take a friend to. I suggested The Dead Girl on the basis of the cast, the title, and the basic premise which I’d read somewhere. I hadn’t seen the movie, but something told me it would be very worthwhile. My partner and her friend thought it was excellent, a job well done, I thought to myself.

I finally ended up seeing it on DVD a week or so ago (been kicking myself I never saw it on the big screen) and have decided it has to be one of the best and most powerful movies of recent years, certainly one of the finest acting ensembles in a long time. The longer the movie reverberates in my mind, the stronger and more powerful the film becomes; like No Country for Old Men (2007), it is a stunning example of brilliant filmmaking; screenplay, acting, directing, editing, cinematography, soundtrack, etc

[ Click here to read more ]

120

Vote

Read More Comments (9) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Feast

January 16th 2008 03:37

“They’re hungry. You’re dinner.” The tagline to Feast (2005) pretty much sums up the tone of this unabashedly over-the-top gore-fest black comedy. It’s a bloody treat too; low-budget, but wildly inventive, and sporting some of the best non-CGI special effects since The Evil Dead (1982).

A severed tongue-in-cheek screenplay by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton that plays with both the monster and slasher sub-genres, while twisting clichés and convention and tearing them up. Feast is a rip-roaring extravaganza similar to the lurid horror excesses of From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), but none of the slapstick. It also sports one of the best B-list and up-and-coming ensemble casts I’ve seen in a while

[ Click here to read more ]

76

Vote

Read More Comments (6) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

The Bridge

January 15th 2008 05:21

I missed seeing this extraordinary documentary at last year’s Sydney Film Festival, so recently I caught up with The Bridge (2006) on DVD. Curiously it reminded me of another provocative and disturbing doco I did see during the Festival; Zoo (2007).

Like Zoo, The Bridge, is a deeply compelling film about a deeply disturbing subject made with intelligence and a delicate sense of style. Haunting and poetic, The Bridge resonated with me for along time after, just as Zoo had done. Whereas Zoo was about aberrant love (bestiality), The Bridge is about nihilistic despair (suicide), two films exploring the darkness of the human condition

[ Click here to read more ]

127

Vote

Read More Comments (12) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

1-18-08 ... Colossus ... Monstrous ... CLOVERFIELD!

January 13th 2008 22:55

Rather ironically a huge SuperTrash monster flick that had been very successfully viral marketed is about to be released, Cloverfield, and I’ve only just heard about it. Which rock have I been under?!

Since July of last year producer J.J. Abrams (TV’s Lost) has been leaking teasers and internet tentacles that hint at what his monster movie is about. Basically a massive leviathan emerges from the watery depths surrounding lower Manhattan and wreaks destruction on par with 9/11

[ Click here to read more ]

152

Vote

Read More Comments (18) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: bait

Email this Post to a Friend

POSTER GALLERY 8

January 11th 2008 05:16

I’m going old school this time around. I’ve selected only Golden Age classics, with a hint of fromage. From a time when illustration was paramount, vivid colour was king, and bold typeset was de rigueur.

I love the old art deco style graphic designs, there’s something undeniably creepy about them. But enough from me, bring on the glamour horror

[ Click here to read more ]

89

Vote

Read More Comments (4) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: poster galleries

Email this Post to a Friend

No Country for Old Men

January 10th 2008 00:41

The Coen brothers have made some exceptional films. They make films for movie buffs, or to be more precise, they make movies for cinephiles. Generally they excel at the art of cinematic storytelling, producing a body of work to rival most, if not all, of their contemporaries. However, it’s by no means a flawless resume, some of their films haven’t done much for me; Miller’s Crossing was too dense, The Hudsucker Proxy irritated the hell out of me, O Brother, Where Art Thou? bored me to tears, Intolerable Cruelty was insufferable, and I didn’t even bother seeing The Ladykillers, it just looked bloated and ridiculous. I'm probably being overly harsh, but in recent years I’d become concerned the Coens were losing their edge.

I can quite comfortably say the brothers have re-claimed their mojo. No Country for Old Men (2007) is the best film they’ve made in years; in fact, I’d go so far as saying this is one of the best films they’ve ever made, up there with Blood Simple and Fargo. It’s cinematic storytelling par excellence. And to throw a slant on the perspective, I look at this film as a post-modern horror movie

[ Click here to read more ]

105

Vote

Read More Comments (13) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

January 9th 2008 00:16

Now my friends, let’s get somethin’ straight. I don’t like musicals. Never have, never will. I can tolerate the odd one, if the mood and atmosphere is right, perhaps a song or two tickles me fancy, but generally, if a movie’s a musical you won’t find me ‘avin’ a butcher’s hook …

But, there are exceptions to the rule, and this ‘ere is one of ‘em: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007). Directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp. Well, well, well, who would’ve thought? It works a damn bloody treat, goes straight for the jugular, if you’ll pardon the pun

[ Click here to read more ]

117

Vote

Read More Comments (21) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Wind Chill

January 8th 2008 04:45

I do like a good ghost story, but they’re a dying breed. Most modern horrors these days simply try and out do each other on the blood and gore and the I’m-so-bloody-clever stakes. Those Saw movies have got a lot to answer for.

One such ghost story that has always stuck in the back of my mind was The Changeling (1979) which I saw on VHS when I was a young teenager. But that's for another time

[ Click here to read more ]

88

Vote

Read More Comments (8) Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

Email this Post to a Friend

Vacancy

January 7th 2008 05:07

There’s nothing new in Vacancy (2007), but it’s well made nevertheless. It’s very Hitchcock with lashings of Psycho-esque scenarios, yet it manages to look and feel remarkably fresh and compelling. Director Nimród Antal (yeah, I know, what kind of name is that?!), is a young American of Hungarian descent who began his career several years ago with the highly stylised romantic thriller Kontroll, which was set in the Budapest subway system.

Vacancy takes place on a dark highway where a disgruntled couple, David (Luke Wilson) and Amy (Kate Beckinsale) Fox appear to be at the tail end of their marriage. She’s on medication to curb her depression following the death of their child, and he’s desperate to try and save the shreds of their marriage. But he left the interstate and took a short cut and swerved to avoid a raccoon. Now the car’s in bad shape, so it looks like they’ll be staying over night in that dilapidated motel

Keeping on the grindhouse tip, I’ve made a list of thirteen essential elements (liable to cause argument) that would feature nicely within the context of a sleazy, nasty, horror movie. I had dirty, reprehensible, misanthropic fun here.

So if you had to pick four of these to feature in a movie that you’d like to see, which ones would you pick? And then give your piece of midnight movie filth a title.

1. A psychopathic smack addict always shooting up in different and more extreme parts of their ravaged body, until they resort to a needle in the eye.
2. A stripper with a big bush and huge fake tits stealing from her sleazy, sociopathic boss.
3. A killer wearing the skinned face of a victim makes strange grunts and moans, and is attacked by the skinned victim who’s still alive!
4. A huge homosexual vampire stalks the NY underground gay scene, yet always vomits up blood after the kill.
5. A sorority house full of horny girls is attacked by a bunch of lesbian bikers.

6. Zombies overrun a small town, but are kept at bay by a young man armed with a huge razor-bladed bulldozer
7. A deep red fog rolls in spreading a hideous flesh-melting contagious disease, survivors flee, but some are already infected.
8. Head villian gets a machete straight through the head, cleaving his menacing face in half.
9. Cute boy and girl creep through scary cemetery, smoke a joint and make out in an open crypt while strange noises surround them.

10. Mad scientist tries experimental “progressive” neuro-surgery on humans, but his mutant assistant turns out to be an even crazier psychopath when he indulges in necrophilia with the dead abandoned victims.
11. Deep in the jungle a bunch of drug-addled cowboys hold fort while local cannibals attack.
12. An evil supernatural force descends upon a forest mansion causing the holiday couples to become sex-crazed killers, eventually only one couple is left, and they both commit suicide by hari-kari.
13. Gangs of murderous thugs go on the rampage during Halloween, with horrific tricks in store for the rich families.

Well I’m using #5, #9, #13 and #8.

============================================================================

THE STRANGERS

The Strangers

December 19th 2008 01:29

This movie was very disappointing, and it really annoyed me too. I’ll admit I had high expectations; I had originally caught cyber-wind of it a while back and it sounded good, I liked the trailer, and two close friends saw it on the big screen and were very impressed (albeit they don't really watch horror movies). I had meant to see it in the cinema, but missed its brief run, in the interim I saw the brilliant French-Romanian Ils (Them, 2006) and wondered if The Strangers (2008) was some kind of American re-envisioning.

As it turns out The Strangers was originally penned two years before Them (under the title The Faces). Like Them, The Strangers claims to be based on real events (whereas Them deals with an event that was documented in European media, The Strangers is inspired by a less sensational event that occurred in director Bryan Bertino’s neighbourhood when he was a boy). The whole “true story” angle is always meant to add dramatic-thriller gravitas to a movie, and if it’s a horror movie then even better.

The Strangers opening scrawl about 1.4 million violent crimes in the States every year is pointless, and hardly surprising, but the statement “the brutal events that took place are still not entirely known” scuttles the entire movie … and it's confusing as well, especially after you’ve watched the extended DVD version (more on that later).

Scott Speedman as James

James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) and his (would-be) fiancée Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) arrive at James’ parents secluded home off the main road. It’s 4am, and they’ve both been at a wedding reception. They have the house to themselves. It’s revealed that James proposed to Kristen and she turned him down.

Liv Tyler as Kristen

They mope around; Kristen takes a bath and reflects on the awkward moment back at the party, James peels the top off a tub of ice cream and cracks the champagne he’d had on ice in anticipation of a celebratory nightcap. The two eventually begin to make-out in commiseration, as you do, when suddenly there’s a loud knock at the door.

Aussie model Gemma Ward as Dollface

A young blonde woman, her face half in shadow, asks for "Tamara", then leaves. James and Kristen are a little bewildered. Kristen has run out of cigarettes, so James offers to drive to the nearest all-nighter to get some. In his absence the blonde girl returns to knock loudly at the front door, but now she’s joined by two others. The three strangers become assailants, each disguised behind a mask: the blonde girl in a doll-face mask, a brunette girl in a glam pin-up mask, and a tall guy in a sack mask. They begin to terrorise Kristen, and once James returns they continue to terrorise the couple ‘til dawn …

A house invasion warrants the use of dad's shotgun and the hidden stash of ammo

Writer/director Bryan Betino is skilled in the visual narrative department, but his screenplay is thoroughly frustrating, and irritating to boot. It doesn’t help that I’m not a fan of either of the two leads who are renowned for whispering their lines and looking perpetually angst or forlorn. The three “psychopaths” - Dollface (Gemma Ward), Pin-Up Girl (Laura Mangolis) and Man in the Mask (Kip Weeks), as they’re credited - are never properly revealed, although Gemma Ward’s unusual face is partially seen when she’s at the front door (although at this point the audience doesn’t know she’s one of the assailants). The other two are briefly glimpsed, but not enough to establish their looks.

SPOILER ALERT!

I have too many gripes; the blurb at the beginning which states the events are not entirely known suggests Kristen and James do not survive, yet Kristen is seen regaining consciousness and screaming at the very end (in a Carrie moment) as a Mormon boy who'd been passing by reaches out to touch her, so theoretically she’d be able to tell police everything unless she’s so traumatized she can’t remember.

Kristen is obviously so ignorant she doesn’t know that when you plug a mobile phone in to re-charge you can operate it immediately, unless its completely dead, then you’d only need to wait a few minutes (the whole mobile phone out of range/dead battery conceit in movies is starting to grate on me). Why the hell didn’t she call 911 on the landline instead of James anyway?!

Mike (Glen Howerton) turns up in the nick of time ... 5am!

All these implausible elements bugged the hell out of me; the assailants have chosen three particularly difficult masks to see out of and yet they keep them on the entire time (apart from the very end) and manage to do all manner of stalking, chasing, and elaborate maneuvering throughout the movie with no hint of any hindrance.

The assailants, who are supposedly serial killers because one of the girls tells the other “It’ll be easier next time”, reveal themselves to the two Mormon boys on the roadside (one of the girls takes their religious pamphlet, admitting that she sins from time to time), then drive away only metres away from the murder crime scene which the boys then discover; real smart serial killers, these ones!

Aha, the ol' hide-in-the-slatted-closet trick

Even more infuriating is in the "unrated and extended" DVD version (a whole extra minute or so, but no more blood!), after Kristen crawls to get the male killer's forgotten mobile phone ringing on the floor, the male killer returns but decides not to finish her off. Yeah, these eccentric killers are real professionals.

And what’s James’ wedding buddy Mike deciding to come to pick James up early at 5am?! And no neighbours, even if they were several hundred metres away, heard the shotgun being fired several times in the early hours of the morning?! James does mention he's heard no cars or dogs, but that's a bit too bloody convenient for the killers isn't it, especially when Dollface reasons matter-of-factly with James and Kristen "'Cos you were home".

Pin Up Girl (Laura Mangolis) lets Kristen squirm a little

Perhaps I’m being particularly picky on this movie, but I couldn’t help but compare it to other horror movies using similar tactics to much better effect. Every time I saw the masked assailants standing in the background or in long shot trying to look ominous I thought of Michael Myers, and how much scarier he was. And when James and Kristen were holed-up with the gun acting desperate I thought of Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs (1971) and how that was far more tense and frantic.

And then there’s Them, which deals with very similar circumstances (couple terrorized in house by unknown assailants), yet does it with oodles more style and more plausibility. And it’s a damn sight scarier than The Strangers, which is just riddled with clichés.

Kip Weeks realises he doesn't look nearly as cute as his killer accomplices

It’s curious but the three masked killers in The Strangers never once gave me the chills; their noisy, calculated antics only seemed to annoy me. Yet the hooded assailants in Them, and Michael Myers of course, I found to be genuinely terrifying. For once the attempt at realism didn’t pack the punch I thought it might. It’s the supernatural veneer and edge of Them and Halloween that works so much better.

Here's the trailer:

BAD SANTA HORRORPHILE PIC

“I've been to prison once, I've been married - twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for 21/2 years for no reason. I've had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out and I got a bone-chip in my ankle that's never gonna heal. I've seen some pretty shitty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this!”

I was going to review The Nightmare Before Xmas (1993), but it’s rated G, and that ain’t Horrorphile is about. So then I decided to watch Bad Santa (2003) again, ‘cos I like how filthy, obnoxious and reprehensible Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) is, and he makes for a wicked alternative to the ho-ho-ho everyone is familiar with.

Billy Bob Thornton as Willie

Jack Nicholson read the script and wanted to do it, but was already committed to another movie. Seinfeld creator/writer and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator/writer/star Larry David was considered for the role of Willie, and Bill Murray was signed on, but dropped it to star in Lost in Translation. Murray would’ve been great, but Thornton captures that disheveled wrongness even better, and curiously Thornton admits he was genuinely inebriated during much of the filming. I do love a Method Bad Santa.

It features John Ritter’s final movie appearance as an uptight Department Store manager (some hilarious outtakes on the DVD), and director Terry Zwigoff (who made the brilliant documentary Crumb and the delightful Ghost World) dedicates movie to him. There’s also a deleted scene featuring Sarah Silverman as a Santa Trainer.

Willie and Marcus (Tony Cox) love the crybabies

Willie is an ex-con with a drinking habit and a mouth like an ashtray. He swears like a fucking trouper and has a penchant for fucking womens’ asses, especially if they’ve got thick calves. He steals whenever he can, yet always ends up pissing the money away so that he has to return to playing Santa at Xmas time in the department stores alongside his partner in crime, Marcus (Tony Cox), a small person who dresses as Santa’s elf … and then he gets fired for verbally abusing kids and/or their parents.

The Kid (Brett Kelly) befriends Bad Santa

To add complication to Willie’s already complicated life comes The Kid (Brett Kelly) an overweight, very needy, naïve young boy who sees Willie’s Santa guise in a Holier Than Thou light. Then there’s bartender Sue (Lauren Graham, cast curiously against type) who loves the way Santa screws her (“I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing … Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!”), and they way he matches her consumption for alcohol. The Kid and Sue tag along while Willie and Marcus get themselves embroiled in one social nightmare after another.

Lauren Graham as Sue

The late great John Ritter

Bad Santa boasts 170 “fucks” (including its variations), definitely a record for silly season movies. There are enough “profanities” to make the genuine Kris Kringle blush the colour of his red suit. The screenplay, while dredged in pitiful behaviour, actually has a heart of fool’s gold, and Willie’s letter to The Kid at movie’s end captures this mistletoed irony in a few colourful sentences. Good on ya Willie! Originally penned by Glenn Ficarra & John Requa, the script was then revised by producers Joel & Ethan Coen (whose black sense of humour shines darkly) and director Zwigoff. From the DVDs outtakes it appears Thornton was allowed to improvise a fair deal too.

Bad Santa is a guilty pleasure and a damn fine way to round off an unnecessarily clean Christmas celebration with the family. So, pour yourself a stiff (yeah, baby) bourbon, roll up a fat one and pass it around your dirty-minded grinch mates, then kick the Xmas tree over and kick back on the sofa to watch Billy Bob get Santa’s boots real grubby.

Here's the trailer:

HOORORPHILE'S BLOODY BEST 2008

It’s been a very full-on last few weeks. No rest for the wicked. I’m a professional DJ so the silly season is the busiest time of the year for me, with the three most important sets over the next three days. It was my 40th birthday the weekend before last and the theme was film noir. A lot of speakeasy fun was had. Then there was the Christmas festivities, and now the New Year’s shindigs.

Apologies to my loyal readers for the lack of posts over this period, but I’ll be gettin’ back in the horror swing in the new year.

It is time to post my list of favourite horror movies of the past year, and a few more than last year’s top five bloody best. The criteria this time round includes movies that were "released" in Sydney during the last year, whether it be a screening or two at the Sydney Film Festival or ended up released straight-to-DVD.

So without further adieu, here they are, and there was some quality Darkness this year, although a little difficult putting them in order of favourites, apart from the first few.

1. Låt den Rätte Komma In (Let the Right One In)
Directed by John Ajvide Lindqvist
Along with 30 Days of Night this Swedish troubled romance is the best vampire movie in many, many moons. Top notch in every department, and an instant cult classic. I’ll be making sure I own a copy on Blu-Ray.

2. El Orfanato (The Orphanage)
Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona.
Produced by Guillermo del Toro, this good old-fashioned ghost story had some of the best atmospheric scares and creepy suspense seen in a supernatural yarn for a long time. Like the Swedish vampire movie, this Mexican-Spanish co-pro had all the right boxes ticked. A beautifully poignant end too.

3. Quarantine
Directed by John Erick Dowdle
A very rare case of a Hollywood remake equaling, and in many ways actually bettering, the original (the Spanish [Rec], which was very good). Pure palpable chaos and genuine horror with solid acting to boot.

4. Frontière(s)
Directed by Xavier Gens
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in France. Derivative, but sensationally made, and fantastically over-the-top. Better than Eli Roth’s brand of “torture porn”, and infinitely better than the turgid Saw series.

5. Los Cronocrímenes (Timecrimes)
Directed by Nacho Vigalondo
If you liked the brilliant sf headfuck Primer, but wanted something darker and more visceral, then this Spanish entry into causality and the paradox of reverse time-travel will be your cup of bittersweet tea.

6. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
More consistent in tone and more imaginative (if that’s possible!) than the original, the sequel pushes the boundaries of dark-edged science-fantasy into a whole new realm of grotesquerie beauty like only Guillermo can.

7. Funny Games
Directed by Michael Haneke
I loathed Haneke’s original, but inexplicably found myself utterly engrossed in his American shot-for-shot remake. A case study of the de-sensitization of on-screen violence packs a thoroughly polarising punch to the solar plexus of your sensibilities.

8. Cloverfield
Directed by Matt Reeves
I love a good monster movie, and despite the immense Hollywood hype surrounding this old-fashioned “Godzilla”-style re-envisioning I was along for the shaky-cam ride with much gusto. The unexpected ending was a small treat too.

9. The Dark Knight
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Watching this on the giant IMAX (with footage actually shot with the 65mm IMAX cameras) was a mesmerizing experience. Amazing production design and awesome visual style, and Heath Ledger probably does deserve a Supporting Actor Oscar, he worked The Joker something wicked.

10. Sukiyaki Western Django
Directed by Takashi Miike
I’m a huge fan of maverick director Miike. This mutant samurai cowboy fantasy fable is rammed to the hilt with pure unbridled stylistics; blood and snow abound. The anglicized accents are impenetrable, but the cinema experience is all-embracing.

And of special note: Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III were utter crap, but Sylvester Stallone's Rambo (which should’ve stuck with its working title of John Rambo) is one of the most graphically violent movies Hollywood has ever made; it’s post-modern horror soaked in monsoon rains and covered in mine-shredded mud, and much better than you’d give it credit for.

LONDON TO BRIGHTON

Horrorphile -

London to Brighton

Paul Andrew Williams’ debut feature is a very dark, yet powerful movie. It punches below the belt and hits hard and leaves you reeling, but at the same time you can’t help but marvel at how well made it is; how uncompromisingly it deals with incredibly heavy issues.

London to Brighton (2006) tells the sordid tale of a pimp, a prostitute, and a runaway girl, and all the dreadful shite they find themselves up to their necks in. It’s filmed with the kind of dark and gritty realism that made Gary Oldman’s Nil By Mouth (1997) and Eric Roth’s The War Zone (1999) so affecting.

Kelly (Lorraine Stanley), is a London streetwalker, who is coerced into finding a young girl for the vile pleasures of her pimp Derek (Johnny Harris)’s most notorious client, the millionaire Duncan Allen (Alexander Morton). Kelly desperately needs the money and Derek is loathe to disappoint Allen, so Kelly scours the Embankment looking for a feral nubile.

Georgia Groome as Joanne

Kelly finds Joanne (Georgia Groome) begging for money and befriends her. Joanne has runaway from her abusive home. She smokes and swears and is 11-years-old. Kelly introduces her to Derek who, after plying her with ice-cream and assuming Joanne is sexually active, persuades her to go with Kelly to visit Duncan Allen. Joanne will get one-hundred quid.

Lorraine Stanley as Kelly

Duncan Allen is a monster and Kelly and Joanne escape. But now they’re on the run from Derek who has been instructed under pain of death by Allen’s gangster son Stuart (Sam Spruell) to find and deliver both Joanne and Kelly. It seems Stuart’s father may have been compromised.

Johnny Harris as Derek

Told in non-linear fashion London to Brighton is a fast-paced dramatic thriller with brilliant performances that grips from start to finish. It’s only 80-minutes long and it cracks the brutal whip. Not since Nil by Mouth has a movie sported such coarse – but realistic – language. Cleverly, writer/director Paul Andrew Williams (who made last year's The Cottage) starts the movie after the horrendous event in Duncan Allen’s home, and then returns to the moments leading up to it with a series of flashbacks.

Sam Spruell as Stuart Allen

Georgia Groome is a revelation; her performance as young Joanne is amazing. The actor was thirteen and apparently rather well-adjusted, but still a very brave undertaking (Lord knows how open-minded her parents were in letting their daughter be involved in such a traumatizing movie!) The co-lead performances from Johnny Harris and Lorraine Stanley are just as good (both of whom reprise their characters’ roles from a short Williams made several years earlier). Also of note is Sam Spruell’s disquieting presence as the bad apple son who hasn’t fallen far from his father’s poisoned tree.

Alexander Morton as Duncan Allen

The directorial style of London to Brighton reminded me of Mike Leigh and Ken Loach; all hand-held cinema verite camerawork and raw in your face portrayals of the underbelly of society. The movie cost only £80,000 to shoot, yet director Williams was determined for the movie not to be prejudiced against for its low-budget so rather than use digital video he shot it on 16mm (blown up to 35mm) to instill a genuine cinematic feel.

Derek lies wounded after Stuart's ultimatum

It’s a harrowing movie to watch, and there are several scenes that will test fragile sensibilities, but it’s intelligently-handled and as a thriller it is excellent. I had one major qualm about why Joanne would stay with Kelly following the dire situation that Kelly was instrumental in putting Joanne in, but perhaps Joanne was savvy-enough to see that Kelly herself was a desperate pawn.

A grey day on a Brighton beach

London to Brighton is a disturbing, emotionally-wrenching urban nightmare dealing with distressing social disease, but it's astonishing filmmaking and one of the most genuinely affecting British movies in years.

Here's the trailer:


London to Brighton DVD is courtesy of Siren Visual, many thanks!

HORRORPHILE

SLINGBLADE

“The atmosphere of a film is the most important thing. Very early on I was fascinated by the moods and atmospheres which emanate from places and people. People in certain situations – in moments of terror, for example – especially interest me. They live more intensely, and we’re able to learn more about who they really are.” --- Roman Polanski

[ Next ]

Horrorphile - January 2009

Sling Blade

January 5th 2009 23:25

“I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody. Mmm-hmm.”

I first saw Sling Blade when it was released back in 1996. I’ve seen it a few times since then. It’s aged like a fine wine; the tone, symbolism and nuances becoming richer and more complex. Sling Blade is a dark American Gothic tale of love and death, salvation and deliverance.

Originally written as a play and made as a short half-hour film called Some Folks Call It a Sling Blade (1994); writer and star Billy Bob Thornton used the short to get a feature version funded, which he then directed. The movie has gone on to become both a bona fide modern classic as well as garnering a strong cult following as well.

Billy Bob Thornton as Karl Childers

Karl Childers (Billy Bob Thornton) is released from a mental institution for criminals, apparently a rehabilitated man. He is returned to the small town where as a 12-year-old (some twenty-five years earlier) he had murdered his mother and her teenage lover with a Kaiser blade. However it is quickly obvious that Karl is by no means a normal citizen. Your average Joe would think him retarded; Karl walks and talks in peculiar fashion, has done since he was a boy.

Natalie Canerday as Linda, John Ritter as Vaughan and Lucas Black as Frank

Young Frank Wheatley (Lucas Black) meets Karl ouside the small Arkansas town’s laundromat and they immediately form a bond. Frank introduces Karl to his mother Linda (Natalie Canerday). A little later he meets Linda’s gay friend Vaughan (John Ritter), and also Linda’s redneck boyfriend Doyle (Dwight Yoakam).

Dwight Yoakam as Doyle

Doyle’s got it in for Frank, he can’t stand the kid. Of course, he can’t stand Linda’s faggot buddy either, nor Frank’s humped-over retard pal. It’s all too much for the beer-guzzlin’ hillbilly, and he sets out to make life for Frank and Karl hell, especially when Karl moves into the Wheatley shed. Linda understands Doyle is dangerous, but she’s trapped in an abusive relationship. Vaughan would gladly step in as step-dad, but Doyle won’t have a bar of it. It’s only a matter of time before matters turn form bad to worse.

Robert Duvall as Karl's father

Sling Blade is a languid tour-de-force of writing, acting and directing. It features a stunning score composed by U2 producer Daniel Lanois, and vivid cinematography from Barry Markovitz. Billy Bob Thornton delivers one of the most accomplished debut features from an actor directing in Hollywood history. Sling Blade resonates like the strum of a lonely steel-string in the balmy Southern night air while the crickets buzz and the snakes slither and the scraping of a steel blade cuts through the dark.

Karl tries to ignore the ramblings of an institutionalised inmate played by J. T. Walsh

Billy Bob Thornton is unrecognisable as Karl Childers, with his squinched eyes, jutting jaw and gravel accent, the dreadful bowl haircut, his snow-plough dragging step and those high-water pants in a lost-in-time dress sense. It’s an extraordinarily sustained performance, and Thornton should’ve won the Best Actor Oscar that year, even Best Director (he managed the Best Adapted Screenplay).

Karl and Frank share a poignant moment at Frank's secret place

As brilliant as Thornton’s acting is, also highly commendable is country singer Dwight Yoakam, out of the blue and into the black as the disquieting Doyle, and Lucas Black is excellent as inquisitive Frank. Special note must go to the late great J. T. Walsh for his short book-ending turn as Karl’s incarcerated serial killer “chum”, and Robert Duvall’s very brief, but suitably effective cameo as Karl’s disturbed and estranged father. Sling Blade was John Ritter’s last film (sadly both he and Walsh died of a heart attack aged 54).

Karl's bookmark note of hope to Frank

Sling Blade plays out like a filmed novel; almost fable-like in its studied, yet clear and concise narrative. It has a subtle sense of humour, but it is ultimately a sad and dark tale, and it leaves a deliberately bittersweet after-taste. Ultimately the movie is a virtuoso vehicle for Billy Bob Thornton, but he allows everyone to shine. It’s essential viewing for those who appreciate adult drama that rests on strong indelible performances and powerful screenwriting.

Karl trudges through the darkness before the dawn

I couldn't find a decent resolution trailer so here's the classic French Fries scene with Jim Jarmusch:

62

Vote

---

GALLERY OF HORROR PART TWO

The Kindred

Fright Night

Tarantula!

Death Race 2000

Silent Running

The Thing

Forbidden Planet

House

Planet of the Vampires

Tales of Terror

Kingdom of the Spiders

Day of the Dead

The Winged Serpent

The Island of Dr. Moreau

Road Games

Equinox

Nosferatu

Alligator

The Alpha Incident

Up From the Depths